significance/false significance

1

anything everything
i’ll take everything
from you i’ll never have known you
you’ll never have been near
me when i died there everyyear
forever and ever i wish i wish there was nothing
then everything would mean nothing

2

everybody’s fighting
the night sky
it’s winning the battle
everything is lost
don't pretend anymore

still

i'm sitting here and i'm thinking really
hard but i can't seem to remember
anything that happened yesterday
i must have slept for an hour
i must have slept for three days
i think there were girls with
painted faces at that party
and so many endless rooms where
i found you again and again
always wearing that same dress
the dress i spilled red wine on
and the fabric never stopped bleeding

24-hour video of a new girl

all day they shoot me full of heroin and all night they scream at my face and touch my body

nobody notices the holes in my arms or the red spots in my eyes

nobody anymore needs to care about anybody other than themselves

i used to live in a television commercial

"What's the matter," Carter would ask when he saw her sitting in the dark at two or three in the morning staring out at the dry wash. "What do you want. I can't help you if you don't tell me what you want."
"I don't want anything."
"Tell me."
"I just told you."
"Fuck it then. Fuck it and fuck you. I'm up to here with you. I've had it. I've had it with the circles under your eyes and the veins showing on your arms and the lines starting on your face and your fucking menopausal depression-"
"Don't say that word to me."
"Menopause. Old. You're going to get old."
"You talk crazy any more and I'll leave."
"Leave. For Christ's sake leave."
She would not take her eyes from the dry wash. "All right."
"Don't," he would say then. "Don't."
"Why do you say those things. Why do you fight."
He would sit on the bed and put his head in his hands. "To find out if you're alive."
In the heat some mornings she would wake with her eyes swollen and heavy and she would wonder if she had been crying.

borrowed auto/fuckface

driving on 74 i almost stopped sleeping it was hard to see through the fog where bright lights shone nothing and trucks lined up at road side red light drivers long since lost and drifted into half conscious aware and unaware half of how the mind stills at night and people and places become interchangeable things inter tangible dreams that don't help or cohere life's endless disappointments miles just miles and miles of white air white faced ghosts restless headed home

tell me get a job i'll smash your face to the ground fingers eyesockets get fucked your pretty boy looks it's over and gone

corpses rot in cellars

goodbye everybody
it's time for me to leave here
there's no place for me here
but i'm not scared
things will be good where i'm going
where i'm going, no one judges no one
and people are nice and people smile white teeth smiles
in the sunlight
in the moonlight
of the last place anybody will come looking for you
free at last
i'll miss you when i'm gone