I know this isn't getting through to you. I know it was pointless to write any of this.

i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know tell me how to make it right i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i never should have been born

Existential Despair/Existence is Despair
recurring recurrent themes
of course this is repetition
of course,
suicide is a crime
and is thinking

?Girl with agenda #1 said or, rather, marked on lined paper:

These were the things that were in the room:
Two water bottles
Banana
Calculator
Lighter
Pen
Hair gel
Electrical tape
Deodorant
Blood
Scissors
Post-it notes
Contact fluid
Mechanical pencil
Wallet
Hair

It was like she had seen on crime shows. She hoped she did a good job. Her name was Samantha. She got good grades and believed in good. She got fucked on the weekend.

Love Poems

1.
2.

there were two things

there were two things...

there were two things that... caused...

me...

to...

lose love in all its wonderful shapes and forms, all

its wonderful

manifestations of

warmth.

---

don't be sad, silly
nobody's life's all fun
you'll get through it
home's not far
cheer up, kid
don't be sad

delusion #2

despair
it's fair to assume tomorrow you'll be dead

--

you never were much more than used rags
and crooked half smiles on autumn days.

you skipped all your classes,
abandoned your friends,
and slept away months in grief,
your entire existence composed of
shut eyes and empty dreams,
gray places without time or reason,
and nobody to tell you "do this."

maybe if somebody heard your words,
maybe if somebody looked at your face and saw your eyes,
you would have survived,
you would have survived.
but nobody did,
and i can't say sorry somehow.

delusion #1

you spent a thousand years in sand, sculpting monuments with broken fingers

i could not know the names of the places that were made,
but with each moment passing, i felt such change
in the people,
in the landscape
that buried all faces

changeable

forever

changeable

in the end, buildings would crumble
and empires would fall
but never could i remember your eyes