It wasn’t supposed to happen like this you think as you leave her apartment in the pouring rain and drive to the department store 30 miles an hour where you buy a cheap set of kitchen knives and drive back 30 miles an hour and she’s waiting for you, she’s waiting for you like it’s just rehearsal in the rain in the street in tears in her eyes in apologies in her teeth and you get out of the car and you take the knives and you drop them at her feet I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn’t good enough for you and I'm sorry you could never see that---but so much for a clean getaway.
when I got here I didn't believe it could be as bad as this. The liars told me things look up with time, but time passes so slowso fucking slow looking at screens for hours looking for something like words or pictures or i don't know sounds but just finding yourself at 3 in the morning not looking at clocks because if you look at them, if you really really look at them... maybe you'd want to commit suicide. and blood is so fucking messy.
dripping down your armslope. forget you even had a test last week.
when I got here I didn't believe it could be as bad as this. The liars told me things look up with time, but time passes so slowso fucking slow looking at screens for hours looking for something like words or pictures or i don't know sounds but just finding yourself at 3 in the morning not looking at clocks because if you look at them, if you really really look at them... maybe you'd want to commit suicide. and blood is so fucking messy.
dripping down your armslope. forget you even had a test last week.
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